Goblin Ale makes for great blackmail
by tinkerbinker
Summary: Whats this? A Labryinth and Xiaolin Showdown crossover jampacked with references from everything from Yugioh Abridged to Firefly! Oh my! In other words drunkeness and crack fanfiction. Yay!


_Okay this thing is dedicated to **Avalon's mists**. Go **read her fanfictions**, they happen to be great. Also yay shes let me use her list! Haroom is Kylers character from a forum I belong to. Ask for the link if you're an XS fan! …I'm still not sure what fandom to put this in. Also this thing is nowhere near done._

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Chase Young walked up to the Labryinth gates. Why he didn't portal I suppose none of you get. Well, anytime you try to portal you end up in the bog of eternal stench. Last time he nearly fell in the bog. Eww... Eternal stench... And that would be bad considering that this is Xiaolin Chase Young. Wait, you dont know? Your looking right at him... He's not wearing that oh so creepy bondage man armor. Instead its the blue and white training robe, even dirty it better then Mr. Bondage man armor. Anyway.. Back to why Chase is at the Labryinth. He's here to visit Jareth, the Goblin King, for a bit of chit chat and maybe a mite bit of Goblin Ale. Yes, the Jareth who still cant come up with a better threat then the bog of eternal stench. He's been the Goblin King for how long now? You would have thought that he could come up with something better then that. Though it is effective. You do have to give him that. Who wants to be stuck with eternal stench? Not Chase, you wouldn't catch him near that bog if it wasn't for the goblin ale.

Chase tried to make one of those crystels. You know the ones. Those magic little crystels the Goblin King makes all the time? He tries to make them just as often as Jareth uses them. Which doesn't make sense considerig that water is his element. He doesn't need to be able to do them. But sinse he apparently rejects his water based powers when he goes Heylin it make sense. Somewhat considering that he also has Martial Art skills... Chase, of course, failed to make one of those crystels properly for the umpteenth time only to jump when Jareth appeared by him using one of those aformentioned crystels. This in turn irritated Chase as it seemed the Goblin King did it on purpose. Which, knowing Jareth, he just might have.

"Greetings, and why must you always do that?" Chase said with a slightly annoyed look, one that he had to hide from the Goblin King. It wouldn't suffice to have Jareth mad at him already. They hadn't even talked. Then again, whenever they do talk, something odd happens. But that could just be because of the Goblin Ale. Two cups of that and Chase will be drunker then a skunk in a barrel of monkeys. Well, that made no sense whatsoever, but oh well!

"Hello Chase" Jareth said with a nod. He acknowledege the greeting, but not the question. This of course only irritated Chase further. enough that he considered tea instead of goblin ale for when Jareth decided to actully take them to the castle. If he ever did, which at this rate it seemed highly unlikely. And with every single itty bitty, super uber small second that went by it seemed to become even more unlikely. Which it probably was, at least until the Goblin King created one of those suber duper awesome crystels that Chase couldn't do. Which for some reason calmed Chase down. Maybe it was the thought of the Goblin Ale? Or more likely tea? What ever the reason he calmed down. Apparently whoever is making this story up cant figure out why he calmed down, just like with every single mary and gary sue and stu story that you ever run across.

Chase waited as the Labryinth sped by under them. He was, of course, calm now. Except about the fact that Jareth could still do the crystals and he couldn't. That still irritated him to no end. Heck, it would irritate you to no end as well if Mister David Bow... Erm, Jareth, could make those crytals and you couldn't. At least if you could do magic like Chase. And yet, he still didn't mention anything about it because he wanted that goblin ale. And to talk to Jareth. Maybe.... Ok, not really. He already talked with him at other times, for now he just wanted his bloody goblin ale!

Jareth looked over the Labryith as they went over the Goblin city. "What a pity." He said looking at the two new additions. Both had gotten wished away, and no one wanted to run the Labryinth for them. Now, no one can be sure if he was saying what a pity for them. Or at the fact that he couldn't have had some fun with the people running for them. Man does he like playing with them. Unless they make it, then he gets mad. Which is bad for him, but ultra funny for us. He storms around for days afterward muttering thing that are supposed to be curses, but seem to be from the Tenth Kingdom and other varies movies. Such as "Suckin Elf". Well, who knew that Mister ultra super scary Goblin King with the super awesome singing voice and the Bog of Eternal stench threats likes to watch movies!

Chase sighed happily as he finally saw the Goblin kings Castle come into view. He didn't want to be trpped in the crystal with Jareth saying what a pity all the time. He thinks its gets annoying. Almost as annoying as the people that talk like this. "Like, totally, like, total howtness! Like, totes hot!" And of course 50 percent of his fangirls, or at least that what it seems like, talk like that to him. Which annoys and scares him. Mosty scares him part though. It would scare you as well if people talked that way ALL the bloody time. Like, talking that way, is like, totes ick! No freakin duh. Anyway... Chase was happy because he was finally going to get his goblin ale and he was out of the annoying crystal! Which was annoying because... Oh you get it.

Jareth looked around once they had reached the main room in his castle, the one where all the Goblin ale is. He then promptly ordered all of the goblins out. Heck, he wouldn't be able to keep irder if the goblins saw him drunk on goblin ale. ...Not that he was actully planning it. Well, maybe he was but thats not the point! The point is... Umm, something else. But back to what Jareth did. He pulled out two goblets, then filled them with the not to sweet, slightly metallic, yet entirely addictive goblin ale and handed one to Chase. He then procceded to drain his own goblet and fill it again. Then he repeated the process while looking at Chase who had just started drinking some of his own goblin ale. Its hard stuff you know.

Now, you see, Chase can only handle a glass or two before he gets extreamly drunk. Now three... He starts doing things he would regret forever. Like singing "I'm so sexy it hurts" all night at a karyokie bar. Or that time he ran around without a shirt in Tokyo while singing the "I'm so sexy it hurts" song again. Hmmm, he must secretly love that song! A lot. A whole lot. A whole super lot. A whole super duper lot even! Or maybe he just doesn't think well when he gets drunk. Its probably just that he doesn't think well. Scratch that, its more then probably. He just plain doesn't think when gets drunk. Though for that matter neither does Jareth... But, Chase did finally get started on his second glass. Even though Jareth was on his sixth...

Though of course you have to realise Jareth is used to goblin ale... For the most part. He can definitally hold it better. Unless that slurred and slightly less elgant speech means otherwise... Nah, it cant. Well, it can, But oh bloody well! It doesn't... Oh fine, it does. He cant hold it past six or seven glasses. Then he starts acting oddly. Well, oddly for the Goblin King.

Odd for the Goblin king doesn't involve dancing around without his shirt and singing. He does that anyway, awesomely too I might add. Though not without his shirt... Hmm, could that be possibly sexy? He could make falling down the stairs sound sexy. Do I hear the sound of slightly questionable content?

Hmm, we should get back to Chase. Who appears to be trying to convince Jareth to dye his hair green. Neon green at that. Or at least start wearing pink eyeshadow. Its what all the Goblin Kings are doing now! What, you didn't know? Oh come on, they are! Or at least thats what Chase thinks when hes drunk as hell. He also thinks singing is a good idea. Specifically singing without a shirt. But you already know that. The entire walking around Tokyo singing about how he's "so sexy it hurts" bit. Wow, if he wasn't drunk he might have just signed up for being transported to the middle of the Labryinth. Just listen to him!

"Why do you always wear such a poofy shirt? And those tight pants! You have to use grease to get in em..." He said slurring his words in a rather horrible way. Its almost to the point where you cant understand him. He must have snitched another drink. And apparently so did Jareth because hes laughing and... Holy *^&% on a *&^%$*& sandwitch hes taking off his shirt!

Wow that surprised Chase. What did he expect? They're both three sheets to the wind thanks to the effects of Goblin Ale. Anyway we really need to get back to listening to them now. I mean Chase is yelling at Jareth to put his shirt back on and... Wait, grow a spine? Did he just say grow a spine! Ehehehe, cue the epic, admittedly drunken, fight scene between Mister ultra super scary Goblin King with the super awesome singing voice and the Bog of Eternal stench threats and Chase Young! The, er.... Super special used to be a giant lizard looking bondage king? Yeah... Anyways to the so called epic drunken fight scene between! Oh screw it, just watch.

Chase assumed what was perhaps the most drunken stance ever. I mean worse the swaying about to fall on his face and pass out in a drunken stupor kind of stance. Its the I have no clue what I'm doing anymore I think the Vulcan death grip exists kind of stance. ...Wow never mind, Jareths just took a worse stance. I... Was that Chases attempt at the monkey strike? Duuuude, that was more like a drunken sparrow eating rice. ...Wait, thats an actual move? Who comes up with these names!? ...On second thought I dont want to know. He or she must have been absolutly crazy. Or have read crack fanfiction the entire day. Either way really. Now back to the fight! If you can stumbling around drunkenly throwing punches at each other until they both collapse on the floor giggling a fight.

Anyway Jareth is... Oh wait, they've already done the giggle and collapse on the floor thing."Stop glaring, this is blackmail after all. You didn't know? Haha! Wait you were serious? Well now you know. Yes, yes, and the more you know. We got the obvious joke. Hey look! Its a goblin! Hmm, Jareths calling him Haroom... In a slurred tone but eh. Its mister super special... Oh screw it I've gone through that bit enough. Also aww, the goblin ran off.

Bloody hell Jareths doing the Mister ultra super scary Goblin King with the super awesome singing voice and the Bog of Eternal stench threats likes to watch movies bit again! He sticking his hand up and... Wow just listen. Its frakkin Firefly quotes and Chase is going along with it! Heck, Jareth just said "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... This Land."  
Of course after that Chase pointed at Jareth in an incredibly drunken manner and shouted "I think we should call it... your grave!"  
Oh man, now of course Jareth is waving his arms around with a grin and yelling "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"  
Wow now Chase just yelled "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh...now die!" and poked Jareth in the chest with a super special awesome drunken giggle!

Also wow Jareth has an ego, one of those egos that if there was anything more important then his ego it should be caught and shot kind of egos! I mean just listen! Its a modified quote! "I'm not gonna die. I can't die Chase. You know why? Because I am so... very... pretty. I am just too pretty for God to let die."

Crap that got Chase mad. You don't even want to hear the cursing hes doing at the moment! Okay maybe you do, just listen. I mean he just yelled "Ching wao tsao duh liou mahng!" at Jareth and stuck his tongue out! Then fell over drunkenly but the effect was still the same. ...Mostly. Of course now Jareth is glaring back and just called Chase a woman and her... him. That hes completely off his nut. See, this is how you can tell Jareth is three sheets to the wind. I mean, you don't call the guy who can rip out a stone guys heart without breaking his hand a lady. Even if he does have the girlyist hair in the show and totally deserves it for having better hair then any non metrosexual man should have!

Though good grief Chase is pretty drunk. Hes just poking Jareths shirt and said "Suo-shee...". Which actually caused Jareth to give him the drunken wow your crazy because the purple mongoose told me so look then say "Petty?" Of course that caused Chase to snap out of it slightly and respond with a quick yet somehow still slurred reply of "I didn't mean petty...". Ha, like he didn't mean pretty! Apparently Jareth doubts it as well because hes asking what Chase meant then. To which Chase replied "Suo-shee?" after prodding Jareths shirt more with an ooh, shiny! look. Jareth though stuck his tongue out and fell over like Chase did before and replied with "That's Chinese for petty.". Huh, I didn't know Jareth knew Chinese... Also we're not doing the more you know joke again! Aw crap we just did.

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Er, yay for the fanfiction jampacked with references?


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